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catwoman vs bane: who had it worse?

July 22, 2012

Some of you may have heard of this small indie-film The Dark Knight Rises.  Rest assured that Matt, Janine and I have all seen the movie and we did review it for our podcast.  I’m going to save my thoughts on the movie for that show, but (I guess spoiler) it was awesome!  Tom Hardy and Anne Hathaway both gave great performances as Bane and Catwoman respectively.  But, lest we forget, both of those characters have already appeared in live action films, and it hasn’t always been so good for them.  So I thought we should try to see which character had it worse.

Since we’re looking at which was WORSE, I thought it would be best to focus on the worst presentations of those characters (Bane from Batman and Robin and Catwoman from Catwoman).  But I feel I should mention there have been some pretty good live action versions of Catwoman, both in Batman (’66) and Batman Returns.  Even though they still both set off some of my pet peeves with the character, they’re at least enjoyable movies in their own ways.  Even if Michelle Pfeifer’s character was a little bit too much based off of Sylvester the Cat.

tweety’s gonna get it


what is that on her head?

I have some pet peeves about Catwoman.  My understanding of her from the comic books is that she is a strong woman who likes to dress up in sexy cat costumes and steal jewelry.  She doesn’t have any superpowers, she doesn’t have 9 lives, she isn’t part cat and part human, she wasn’t brought back to life by a bunch of cats or an Egyptian cat god.  She DOES take at least one element of cats into her persona:  she’ll tell you when it’s time for belly rubbin’ and when it’s time for butt kickin’.  and, when it’s time for butt kickin’ you’d better watch out.

by the way, these two are friends

But, for some reason, every time she shows up in a live-action context she’s making cat puns at every op-“purr”-tunity.  I guess it makes sense in Batman ’66 because that whole movie is SUPPOSED to be campy, but I don’t understand them in the “dark” context of Tim Burton’s Batman Returns.  But I at least enjoy those movies on some level.  It got much worse by the time Catwoman came along.  Now she’s always landing on her feet, she’s I SWEAR dying and being resurrected by and EGYPTIAN CAT GOD, and going to bars and ordering a white russian without the coffee or vodka (AKA a glass of milk).  I’ve had a hard time watching this movie because my eyes actually roll to the back of my head in order to protect my sanity by the time the bar scene happens.

Also, I don’t know how this is possible, but the generally sexy Halle Berry is wearing a very revealing outfit for a good portion of this movie and it isn’t sexy at all.  I blame the hat which looks more like Nite Owl’s mask from Watchmen than it looks like a cat.


in this picture, the worse something is the larger it is

First of all, I’m a big fan of the Batman: Knightfall series and I read all three volumes at least once a year.  Even though there are some cheesy elements to the story I LOVE BANE.  He’s set up pretty well as the anti-Batman.  He’s a brilliant tactician.  He has the sort of theatricality that can be best expressed by putting on a luchador mask, snapping Batman over your knee, declaring you own Gotham City and throwing him off the top of a building.

everything about this page is great

So, what do you do when you’ve got this great character with the type of over-the-top personality that would actually fit really well into Joel Schumacher’s world?  Well, if you’re Joel Schumacher then you take all of that character and personality away and make him stand around and yell “BANE!!!” every once in a while.  I’m assuming that when they were writing dialogue for the movie they found every sort of pun about something being cold and gave it to Mr. Freeze and then they found every sort of pun about plants and gave it to Poison Ivy, but they couldn’t think of any Bane puns so they decided to make him some idiot that can only say his own name because that’s close enough to a pun for them.

Actually, now that I think about it he was basically the first Pokemon and Poison Ivy was just calling him to fight for her once in a while.

“bane, I choose you!”

So, which is worse?

In my mind, Bane definitely was a terrible character because he wasn’t actually a character, he was just a big dumb guy.  But, somehow, THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE in Joel Schumacher’s world.  Who, other than a big dumb guy, would follow this horrible version of Poison Ivy who, for some unknown reason, sounds like a reporter from a prohibition-era newsreel.

What’s worse than no character?  A crappy character that makes no sense.  Catwoman loses.

Do you agree?  Voice your opinion in our comments or by taking our poll.

One Comment leave one →
  1. July 23, 2012 1:15 am

    Michelle Pfeifer’s Catwoman was a tad too much for me.
    I think Bane had it worse because it’s a farther fall. Great post! Made me honestly lol.

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